I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
