Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
