it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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