She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Randomize
