Who wears a wallet chain?!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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