When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
