I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
