The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
