Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you inspire me to be a worse person
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize