her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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