My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
