I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I forget how to act sober
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
