He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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