then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize