You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Acid is not a monday night drug
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
