North Korea, Best Korea!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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