It's like God shit irony all over that family
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
