Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
