He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
