i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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