Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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