Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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