you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
