A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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