Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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