this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
