she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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