doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
