I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
