id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
