somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
