Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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