Non-Jews are for practice
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
