I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
