yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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