Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
