but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't think brook has ever known best
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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