We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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