I think I died a long time ago.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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