as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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