how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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