I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
