fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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