We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
