How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
