So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
