I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
