My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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