he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
