Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize