butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
