Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
