census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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