I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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