Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
