I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
