She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
