perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
