I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
