There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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