my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i love accidental penises.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
