he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
