I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
